Friendship Forever!

I have been here in UK for almost three months
Nice surroundings, hospitable friends and lovely environment
I really like the place I stay, I always do
Days after days, I discover myself to be more talkative
less sensable and not organised at all,
Losing the control, I am indeed a crapper now
Really hope I can cease it from any points
Getting the strength from elsewhere
Or perhaps you guys here should do something
for the sake of me, yourself and others
I am crossing the line here man!
Stop pampering me please
I would appreciate your greatness if so happen that
you scold me, being a real friend of mine lol
Anyways great to have friends like you all
Hope to keep this PURE friendship till the end of the day
and keep in touch whatever go on in the future

I was chatting with my sister hours ago
Evil Edwinz just hit the belon
Helping his mum to win the lottery for about 20k
My whole family was celebrating when she got my call
And of cause Edwinz Teow, the monster was there
Telling me he is gonna go for a new season of his study
very very soon and will do as best as he can
and finally pursue his studies in UK like his uncle [me]
Ridiculous isn't he? lol cute one for a 3-year-old kid
Apparently, his mum was beside him teachin all that stuff
That's not the point anyways
I am sure he knows the meaning of what he said
and he better keeps his promise
or else I will hardly kick his little spongy ass
[8099] will mean a lot to us after all
Thank you my little charming nephew lol
Hopefully he will have a promising future
being a joyful happy-go-lucky
and stop being so mischievous please
Being a real trouble maker in our family God bless


Next i was chatting with a friend of mine via MSN
she was implying something for the current situation
the real situation of another friend of mine
which used to be a bosom friend
not a big difference for now i think, is facing
Again it was about his relationship with another gurl
who is also one of my friends
She is just not making any sense sometime
Stop scolding my friend will you
give some respect in which a real guy needs
You guys just have to be tolerant sometime
To avoid any conflicts which are not neccesary
To distance the gap days after days
I don't hope i will get any bad news from you
any of you, within the year i stay here
Hope you guys wil get better a real soon
sure you will
Think about how did u guys get along?
It was a striking story remember it?
I mean seriously, you guys had been going through
so much to eventually be together
Is it worth it? Think about it! it wasn't easy!
For me, you are still a perfect match my friends
Treasure whatever you have for moments
Cheers up!

Shitty insomnia! Keep away from me!

What the heck is going on with me?
I couldn't squirm into my sleeping bag just now
No matter how hard I tried
My heart was pumping quicker than usually it does
Something were haunting me without explanable reasons
actually they can be explained but just a damn shame
Your voice is just all the way around my head
Leave me alone please before i die in hypertension
Guess i'm in real trouble this time
I never felt i am fragile as such

Anyways I am finally ended up here, blogging
hoping to get some release
Ridiculous isn't it, I seriously think so
It has never happened for decades
I mean Insomnia that i'm suffering from now
not even during the time my papa left me
It's unbelievable but it's true
This is insane and it doesn't make any sense at all

Perhaps I was right,
My mind and heart are like cats and dogs now
working and functioning against each other
leaving each other apart further and further
I feel that i no long know myself
Call it spirit shall I, or soul which has gone elsewhere
without a proper permission and notification
I just don't like this kind of mental trauma
Days after days, I am losing my rationale
To decide and do what is correct and what is false

But at least, for Christ's sake, my optimism still,
stays by side firmly which the one and only reason
explaining that i m still alive
it's murmuring to me
keep telling me to advance forward
and take things openly as part parcel of life
boosting me up to be myself
bouncing and motivating me to be courageous
I gotta keep saying to myself that i am unbeatable
For the bygones, for today and for the future

I was too wrong and naive if u wish
for thinkin myself ever be a tough man
I am just a tiny nut as if shrimp in a deep blue sea
I am just too vulnerable
allowing the external opportunistic factors
which really, are just ordinary rubbishes
to tie me up, leaving me immobile

Will call my pal tomorrow
to at least talk about it, and to share it
as it may help in bits meanwhile
not being irony for them
Plus it has been really long
that i didnt make them a call
which i should have done so
Hopefully she is fine

Between, i was thinking about something
while stretching myself
struggling to get myself into a dream just now
It was about what i gonna do next
after getting my honour degree here
Yes, I had made up my mind to get back
to where i originally from
As I was perplexing about life
I am still young, i've still got a plenty time ahead
a big chunks of opportunities await me
but not the elders around me
Their grey hairs are getting more more each day
In the way, their susceptibility to illness or death
are increasing days after days
i mean not to express this as a curse
but it's just happening
life is just too short for one to accomplish his responsibility
But you don't say it before you had tried your best
to at least do something on it
To fix the past to fix the gap
So I will get back once I've done my job here
BAck to the land i belong
the family that used to pamper me a lot
her chest which fairly filled up with love
the greatness on everything she gives to each of us

One year after, i will be right on your side
May you order and instruct me
Everything counts on one self
that's what I believe
environmental factors are just the seconders
under whatever situations and conditions

time to sleep, wish I can
listening to Eason's songs couldn't be making me
more comfortable
As it always does......
great!

Time, a useful remedy ever?

For years living in this world
I am sure we all have been nicely exposed
to this phrase 'The passing time will sort it out"
whenever confronting something, a problem particularly
which someone are unable to troubleshoot and solve
And during this time, some might have this phrase
emerge on their mind and word it out
Some might not....

To put it in the context
I will use a relationship as an example
Love affair i mean
as nothing is more interesting than this
as far as i can tell


When you fall in love with someone
and not really sure whether or not dat guy loves you
You say 'Time will be a remedy'
and do nothing for it

When you dont love a person
but you know that person is in love with you
You say the same thing
and do nothing for it

When you are in love with someone
whom you think that he or she loves you as well
You say the same thing again
and do nothing for it

What the hell! This is not a part
of the human civilisation should be

Come on! Be a man!
Never I doubted that
Time is an excellent remedy for this
But it does only work if you do something for that
A pre-statements perhaps to at least let your target
clear on what are you thinking
And once it's done,
TIME will come into the picture
either implanting the seeds deep into the heart
or the other way round,
digging out the plant right from the main root

No offence guys...
Just wanna remind myself for this
So that I can always control myself in such a manner
and cheers if you find them useful

Using time as a remedy as an excuse
in order to hide from the truth
is always inappropriate

Eason the best!

讓理智在叫著冷靜冷靜還恃住年少氣盛

讓我對著衝動背著宿命渾忘自己的姓

沉睡的凶猛在蘇醒完全為你現形

這個世界最壞罪名叫太易動情但我喜歡這罪名

驚天動地只可惜天地亦無情

不敢有風不敢有聲這愛情無人證

飛天遁地貪一刻的樂極忘形

好想說謊不眨眼睛這愛情無人性

************************

若世界陷進大騙局裡面朋友亦難以發現

共你隔著空在秘密通電挑戰道德底線

如若早三五年相見何來內心交戰

我信與你繼續亂纏難再有發展但我想跟你亂纏

驚天動地只可惜天地亦無情

不敢有風不敢有聲這愛情無人證

飛天遁地貪一刻的樂極忘形

好想說謊不眨眼睛似進入無人境

即使間整個約會情調幽暗似地下城

還是算溫馨多麼想跟你散步橋上把臂看著風景

但是我清醒月亮總不肯照亮情慾深處那道背影

你我像快快樂樂同遊在異境浪漫到一起惹絕症

*******************************

不想說明只想反應

Listen up!
Eason's new song will be officially published soon
End of December this year I guess

Not really liked it when I first listened to it
But days after days, I found myself in love with it
Simply because of his haunting voice i believe
And the lyrics is great

It seems that for his recent songs
Eason is no longer singing solely for his technique presentation like before
but to present a whole story, picture and perhaps induce an imagination
of the songs to all his fans
thus creating a space for idol-fans communication
buying time for us to understand him and his songs
Great!!
Keep rocking!!

Sharing, a release?

Holy shit! I am really not in study mood lately
not even wanna flip pages of at least one
not at all, it's bad i realise that
But I just couldn't God save me from that
Flee me perhaps from the haunting lethargy
It should be done dealing with me
Anyways i will get better soon I guess

I was gossipping like a fortieth aunties few days ago
With some friends here at starbuck for the first time
But I didn't really enjoy the conversation
Cause I was like a host as well as the one and only guest there
I prefer talking to the walls than that lol
Don't bother, just wanna spend some time out there
rather than self-locking in the room
Why cant I just get a mamak or kopitiam here?
We can talk till the sunrise of the next day
with the cheap milk tea or perhaps chinese tea
Miss the days we were out for gossiping a lot guys

The second gossip took place in my room
We chatted until 4 o'clock morning
Amazing and unbelievable huh?
I have the same thought too
What to say, time flies lol
We exchanged our pasts
For the effort to have our background understood
But it would never happen
as people just like to keep privacies
which they think it is unrivalled and unsharable
This is normal ......

At this ages, we just like to talk about the boys and gurls stuff
Lovely isn't it? So be it, we shared those stuff
Flirting, first love, puppy-love and so on
I seriously think that it's a good thing
because by sharing, you dig into your mind for the memory
seeking, recalling, processing, enjoying
The feeling when the memorable nostagia flash back into your mind
is irresistable, makes me good
especially one who ever lived in fascinating life like me

I find myself in love with sharing
but it's in uhm confined way, not thoroughly
Cause it's just something
something which is a great shame to share about
Damn it! Why me!

Perhaps HE loves me more than any others else
HE always wants me to experience more
Exposes me to the stress and bad scenes
So that i would take it as a lesson
Learn and get something useful from them
Reflecting all those unpleasant stuffs
by processing an issue from numerous perspectives
That's what make a real me today
To be more mature, optimistic perhaps
To think about things deeply into layers
Thank you Mr. GOD! Appreciate it!
I am unbeaten after all

Distance a better explanation of a relationship

It has been a nature
where human live in
The farther you are away from a thing
The more intense you will miss it
that explains the reason why recently
i find myself frequently poping in and out on FB
since that's one of the media I can use
to keep in touch with my lovely friends
and at least to keep some memorable nostalgia
plus the 'jerk' recent uploaded photos
when we were young- primary school
it has got nth to say about
MISS THOSE DAYS A LOT
really wish i could travel back to the past
so do you, don't you?
So u see, how distance plays its vital role here
It links a friendship up
It matches a couple up
It closes a family up
and It unites a nation up

I cant recall when was the last time
I was actually making friends
Cause we seem to know more and more people
days after days without a consciousness
This is normal as in denoting a friendly person
Yes you are right
I am praising myself here
Don't you agreeeee?
I am sure most of ya would give the green light lol
This is how distance plays its role in friendship
It cuts off the intangible distance between hearts
of two person who initially didn't know each other
until they become plain friend
upgrade to best friend afterwards by chance
or probably couple if the lines do overlay in the proper way
at the right environment
at the right time
at the right place

I have witnessed most of the cases happened
The switch of relationship between pairs
developed from plain friend, erm...acceptable
developed from best friend, hmmm...predictable
even, developed from cat and dog,
sort of strange but indeed, it's in high chance
Everything is fated to happen for God's sake

So, to all my dearest friends, sisters and brothers
Whenever there is a chance for ya to leap off the gap
especially to kickstart an affair
just face and accept it
worry about how long it gonna sustain?
whether it's gonna be a forever or short affair?
will it be as the last short-term ex-puppy-affair?
you wont know until you own it
and inject in whatever neccessary to sustain the relationship
In the process, you feel the joy and enjoy it
This is simply a true & pure love......
Not to say from a perspective of a flirty guy
you dont shoulder any resposibilities up in an affair
unless accidentally or with deliberation
you create a new born life or get married

So just enjoy the process
for wooing and being wooed
Being emotional is just not a great idea
to grab another fortune of life
Life moves on my friend
Dont keep looking back
Not everything is awful and awkward
as what you had undergone
Let bygones be begones
There is still another bright lamp
for you to pull and switch on
brightening him or her
brightening yourself
It's on your hand

Be brave and be blessed

Intangible Role

Believe it or not we just have a single role to play in
From time to time, stages to stages, youngs to elders
It could be an enormous difference crossing the intervals
If you see yourself through at the end of the day
Indeed it's like a 2-hour movie, a sudden characteristic leap
Could just happen within seconds
confronting an unforeseen circumstance, a situation
Movie, it does reflect how things go on in the real world

As for the role we played, playin or will play
I would direct it to responsibility shall I
Time, apparently precious than anything else in the universe
It's so as it doesnt travel back
Regardless of your age, life moves on as a cycle
we've all got different responsibilities
Depending on which part of the cycle you are currently positioned
A student? A child? A boss? A dad? A leader? A follower, etc......
It's just very much different from each other
yet, it's all your choice, you chose it, and you gona face the music
That's exactly how a responsible person presents himself
Success or failure. it's just lying between your fingers
If you have your responsibility thoroughly attained
and managed to find the way presenting it
You gonna hv everythin more than a success

I am a Bsc student,
a son of a mother,
a brother of siblings,
a grandson of grandparents

With all kind of responsibilites
Everyday I ask myself 'Have I partially done any?'
It doesnt proceed other than just a question
a question I ask everyday
an answer I seek everyday


Note to share nextime ----D-I-S-T-A-N-C-E

Love no other, but yourself!

Each of us has got different insight on certain things, thus causing conflict and crisis. But if it does manage to be suppressed, nothing would occur but peace. Unfortunately, it's not gona happen unless someone find himself a way to step on the stage of the world and declare his idea of genetical unity in human species, with a proper reason of cause. Guess what, we all will have same behaviour, voice and everything else, even look due to the 100% similarity in genetic composition. Then, there is high chance that crisis would be brought to a halt, no wars, no fighting, no nothing as we all have got consensus on everything. Yet this makes no sense! You don't want me to explain that!

Back in here using human language, so in order to minimise whatever mayhem or havoc to happen, always, we need to tolerate and try our best to think from others' perspectives or point of view.......I'm good in talking shit, but never good in having it as a practice even how hard i try, perhaps the uh, self-esteem just appears itself as dominant gene rather than the capability of tolerating. It recessively hides somewhere deep beneath the genetic codes all the time lol ........ We gotta respect the human rights to think, speak up and behave the way others like without overcrossing the legislative laws. So I think i'm doin better in this aspect and YOU DON'T HAVE RIGHT TO STOP ME CRAPPING HERE

Everyone seems to have his or her vex all the time, a major one, a minor one, depends on how you take it, even a psycho has his own vex, to break out from the place he's locked. It's life, isn't it? This is how you spell it! What I think is that, getting through or moving on life itself is the problem, challenges emerge days after days, not to mention the stony and spiky walkways ahead. Since we are well notified about this, why not we let out heart down, throwing aside the negativities instead of worryin stuff and being sad for reasons that it shouldn't be? Rather than spending time on sorrow and anxiety, why not just be easy and fill up your gut with joy, working out something to get yourself prepared and ready for tomorrow[s]? It's not neccesary to be a bad day tomorrow, it might be a wonderful day instead, always remind yourself life is adventurous and fulled of surprises. You might be a 1 million winner, meeting up your life partner, a faithful friend, a kind employer, being promoted, having a pair of twins, etc tomorrow, nobody knows.

The message i wanna deliver here is that day comes after day, even you encounter something nasty today, you still need to wake up, stretching your eyes muscle for tomorrow's sunlight. This has been the routine and it's not gonna stop until you would never feel it one day facing your mortality.

SO JUST ACCEPT THE COMINGS and I beg you here, please
NO MATTER WHAT, KEEP THE UNHAPINESS THAT HAPPENING BEFORE AWAY

Love yourself!


TO ALL MY DEAREST GROUP OF FRIENDS......

An imaginary project

There was a project meeting among the students with the module leader, Dr. Keith attempting to work out for the project titles for each of us. Indeed, we are moving forward quite rapidly and i would suppose by next week or a week after next, we will be officially beginning our final-year project under a supervision of each assigned tutors. And, if there is no other circumstances being poped out, Dr. Anne who is the leader of biomedical science will be scouting me throughout the academic year as the project will be carried out consecutively for two terms. Hopefully she would possess a serial quality of tolerance, forgiveness and helpfulness to aid me in this subject which I will also, for my own good, take it very seriously. Oh yeah, I have her words because as far as I can recall she did make a promise to all of the biotech students during our very first lesson that she would try her best endeavoring to academically give us a hand. For your information, she is actually one of the lecturers of mine, teaching me Immunology which had something to talk with my previous post. May everything ahead goes smoothly......

Conquering Immunology

It's comin to the end of the week very soon which is the 2nd week of mine stepping on this land. Of cause, I'm being more adaptive than how I was when I first got here. Usual, isn't it? People keep moving on towards aims, until it's attained, I bet everybody realizes that.

In fact, I would like to share the hardest part of the moment throughout the 2-week long period here. And I'm sure you guys have gotten the guess right, it was about the lesson, not running out of the subject, IMMUNOLOGY.

To be frank, personally, i think that biotechnology, which is a general field underlying a combination of related disciplines - genetics, biochemistry, microbiology and so forth have nothing to do with immune system, unless, you are specifically going after the branches or the sided area of it including medical, agriculture, clinical, food and bla bla which i believe every biotechnologist would always bring along lip, and yes, I had made a choice too, at time to leg in MEDICAL biotechnology as it always shines brightly for me, hope I would grab some fortune there.

I do realize that READING is so much important to achieve any, yet, no promises will be bestowed as I just couldn't, do my best will be it!

Back to the lesson, I just found it hard to keep my ear and mind switched on and pelmeable for everythin to go in, digest it, cuz I'm seriously in shortage of KNOWLEDGE, in other words, reading, I admit it.

Gosh! After pulling the trigger releasing all the stress, I think it's time, it's time to get things right, to put myself on the path towards......

Time to STUDY! Hey go.......

Welcome to Sunderland

I have been stayin on this new yet hospitable land for almost a week.
How do I do here? Everything's all right? Asking for more?
One I would say that, I am ok and everything couldn't better here
Thanks to the way God has always gifted me on how I behold stuff
Thankful and grateful I feel here.
Time would give me the green light to adjust to the land's accent soon
Let's look at the environment here!

specular view out of window

Winter is coming

Just hope that I will get used to the weather here

Gonna start a totally refreshing classes here soon

All the best to me

Crossing my fingers over.......

Hopefully the assignments, reports blah blah

afterwards will be acceptable......

My gratitude spills.....

It has been hundred days he left us
nothing could be more fresh
few days after he went for his holy vacation
everyone would squeeze his or her heart into juices
right after receiving the news
but time, as it always does,
an effectively useful remedy ever
has the power to shorten the 'transition' period
bringing us, altogether back to normal
and apparently, it does show!
The sorrowness was lessen
Feeling comforted to say so
As a Chinese, the rituals are unavoidable
And they were going smooth
except i did a minor mistake
which was made as a joke by others
I am alright as long as they took it
as it supposed to be - in a normal way

Thanks...
I am proud of being son of you, i always will
besides living with the strength you give me
I respect everything you had done
And will partially take them as lessons
that I think whichsoever necessary

Thanks..
For supporting me always
I know you believed in me and well
that was why I am now today
I feel I was pampered in the correct way
under your lead
You were the one who built the tank
to fill the confidence into
talents, skills, thoughts, etc

I will walk through my path
for the rest of my life
without you...
This is not gonna be a problem
and, of cause, this is not a blaming fire
COme on..you know better than myself
I am an independent guy! lolx
So no worries!!!

2 more weeks to go

I've been so numb lately
My power of sensation is dropping steeply
And I found out that I'm gettin my memory blurry
without reasons, in other words,
I'm getting more FORGETFUL than the former time
It could be a good thing though,
so I don't really bother it, taking it as part of my business

It's coming very soon that I gonna leave my country
two more weeks to go roughly
Like I said, I am not being sensitive to the surrounding recently
so, similarly, I don't mentally prepare myself much for that day
That's what I believe and insist.....
If you hold the goal tightly until the day it's realized
You will not take a step back instead,
you will do whatever necessary by hook or by crook to make it happen
This is what and how life means......
So, there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of......



Good luck and All the best!!!!

Only for you Eason....

Guess what guys, i just came back from Eason's concert at Sunway Lagoon Surf Beach, it wasn't packed like expected as my distance towards him, my super idol was just like say, few meters away, it was a good thing anyways, just kinda felt bad for those who had brought the tickets with higher price, this is sarcastic, isn't this? lol..... I intend to build up some words here right after it cause i wanna keep this memory etched into my nerve forever ever as everything happenning there is still fresh and intact on my mind at moment, so get ready, I gonna discharge all of them now......



First and foremost, the traffic along the way I came and left was considerably acceptable, cause I, uhm really that kind of person who can't survive trapping in the jam, it does draw me in insanity whenever there is a massive jam, so I really think that KL is not a cozy place to dwell in cause you all know that it is so much rampant happening here. SIGHZZZZZZZZ......forget about it, let's return the main topic - Eason! sol! You are the most remarkable singer ever!!!!!





The concert was really an unforgettable one, i was really enjoyed listening to his songs. I would swear to God that if you are not his fans, and you happen to attend the concert, you will make him as your idol in the nutshell. I am not lying, exaggerating and all, but believe me, it is true! And, da..he is kind of a guy with sense of humour i would say that cause apparently, he did it to spare us from boredom when he was talking or sending his appreciation. Ooh yea, this reminds me that the appreciation-sending time was kinda longer as usual as he claimed that this gonna be his last Moving-on Stage concert which was the 26th show after having them throughout the world. So we did not blame him at all, even if he gonna speak up for hours up there, I swear to God the audiences would not say nothing as back to it, his homour did entertain us for real, his voice was so much catchy and attractive, i think it was to do with his slang, whatever it is, keep up the good work! All the best for ya! You really have a profound impact on me....

AND You do make HK proud! As far as I can recall, I wasn't that desperate when I saw you performing on the stage, even if I did, I could do nothing to express it, shoot up to embrace you? hug you? no no, this's a nut's style, not mine. lol.. instead, I rather stood straight on the ground to enjoy myself surrounded by my idol's unrivaled throat, my God, it was just wordless to describe it, it was the best live performance ever, again, i would like to emphaize here, trust me! he is a talented singer ever, you won't have any idea how good he is if you did not join it......

The highlighted songs presented on the night......

。。。。。。
七百年后
沙龙
还有什么可以送给你
路一直都在
淘汰
浮夸
夕阳无限好
富士山下
单车
明年今日
天下无双
与我常在
爱是怀疑
。。。。。。


YOU ARE THE BEST!

gRaciAs

My mind is far away from the top of my body recently, it's kinda hard to explain if you wanna know the reasons, but I suppose it is to do with my going-to-be leave, I am not so sure, yet one thing for real is that I have started scheduling up my time table now, right after the day I finish the course here which is going to be less than ten days ahead. Between, most of the activities that I had planned were actually to have a meet-up with my buddies, who are from the nation throughout. Gotta keep the relationship well as that is the only valuable item I treasure so far besides my family.


Gotta pass them a huge, sincere and unrivaled thank-you appreciation for everything especially for dwindling my pressure by allowing me to talk nonsenses towards them. You guys are sweet, without your existence coming across my life, I would not be able to grab the chance to have my life coloured. Without your willing-to-hear ears, things would not be that easy for me, I would like to send my deepest gratitude to them......it's my fortunate to have you all stood by my side whenever the unwelcome circumstances emerge.....


Really looking forward to meeting you......

Single Singlie - belief on my hand

I, hereby, to the creatures under the Sun
declare to be a totally single pure man!
Forget about stuff before
we used to flirt or even, itemize each other
To my adorable A to Z.. we are friends forever-ever!

I should be a single for a-decade long time
as I shouldn't be awarded, not yet for now!
This isn't a curse! Be clear about it!
Just, I think I'm not ready yet
But if so happen I gonna meet one,
forget about whatever I mention above

Wonder why I have such thought
To be alone, lonely loner?
[ All right reserved ; ICE AGES 3]
Sorry, I can't tell cause frankly,
me, myself is in trouble finding the truth also
But I think it's profoundly to do with my characteristics
It has to be! So assume it's right...
The assumption would be.......

Do I think in different way?
Yes I do...complicated, weird, troublesome, name it!

Do I have an exceptionally high requirement?
Yes I do...good-lookin, slim, fair, intelligient, say it!

Do I, myself in trouble?
Yes I do...all the way, all the time!



Due to lethagy and sleepiness
It's To be continued.......

The power of positive thinking

It has been seven weeks since the last time I left, things around still seem not to be so good, it would torture one to death somehow. I could timely sense the grief, stress, sorrow and any other negativities. I know all of these would unavoidably go for months or even years which nobody can change it, if it continues the way it does now, i am sure worser picture will emerge in the coming days I swear to God and eventually everything and everyone will get the passive and resistant impacts. I think for now, I know why the director of the film ' The Day When The Earth Stood Still' had the idea to have his film published. I used to think it was a moronic movie ever, but now, it kinda makes sense, human beings are too weak from all perspectives, mainly twisted and fooled by their emotions. There is nothing that I could think of for a 20-year-old 'boy' (if you prefer to call me that, frankly I am not really feeling cozy for that) to do confronting the spiky and thorny currents, this is unusual and totally not ordinary as far as I could tell. I know I am facing a severe imbalance for my mental thoughts which is a fact, but take note of that, a patient especially a psychopath usually doesn't compare himself with others who are normal as they think they are, so I dare to assure you that I am a 100% normal guy living in pink and for the case of my mental problems, i think I've got a self-producing remedy to take care of it. I was once having a negative thought to give up the family i owned, it's just too hectic to ones couldn't imagine to play a role of it, now it flows through my nerves again, so should I? I am just helpless and tiny to have every problem solved which is not gonna happen, how jealous am I to those who have simple and easy family. Please pals, do me a favour I do not expect any feedbacks for this post,i just deliver what i think it's necessary to make myself better. Like I always do, I am okay, to all my adorable buddies, I've learned to take better care of myself and to solve the problem the way it supposed to be. I'll only do whatever I think it's right, but to be honest, i'm indeed in despair with family, right now, I'll only take a responsibility selectively other than those supposingly. You know better than what I mean! I can't do much thing except for finishin my studies as you wished. Do stay by my side and please, give your best shot to everyone whom you left without warning. Do whatever you can to dwindle her pressure and most importantly, her misses to you to make her life better. Rest in peace after then....God bless

What a World!!

Jz realized that it has been long
since last time I pencilled here
It was decades ago....isn't it?
See I deserve the forgiveness from anybody
At least still, after so long
I am trying my best
to make myself being exaggerative
goaled to make my blog fascinating & exhilarating
Sorry then if it doesnt sound
since I am being myself
I've reached
stamping on the base
of my sense of humour
shameful to declare that


Alright, there are actually few things
that had impressed me both the ways lately
They did it to draw my attention deeply
Cause normally, things I notice around
will just flow thorugh my nerves for seconds
and get vanished right the way
which is also in second-counted
However, they were unusual, so different
that had profoundly grabbed my glances


It was last week, I saw a pedestrian
A 30 plus plus Indonesian I guess
on my way to go for dinner
I was alone, dizzy half-way and partially druggy
as I just emptied a bottle of coughing syrup
I remember both sides of us were not vivid
to differentiate who was the passer-by
because, me too, did stamp on the walkway aside
for moment, just to give them a shot
And, I was the stunning one, that made
me to wipe my existence away
on this twentieth century
Again now, am I?
It was just scarely to be believed
Almost went against the normality
For this species on earth
that it supposed to be


It was the mum herself with her son
Again I suppose and a mini rectangular,
blanket-like 'sack' on her front
They were tornly dressed up
the spiky covers would make anyone
suffered and moaned in pain
She was blindly directing a cart, spilled with dumps
mostly papermade stuff as hard as I could notice
to wherever she could collect her thingumajig
The family, inherited from the past,
was with dark skin, both of them
that made me to become unclear
about the portion of splattered dirts
and splashing ashes on their faces and cover-ups
the picture was indeed difficult to be washed away
not just for me who has no difference in
my emotional status with others


After few miles away from my sight
I was about to be far-off the widow
All of the sudden it was a baby-cryin sound
from elsewhere, it was my final glance
And it didn't out of my expectation
it was her baby which was the 'sack' she shouldered up