They grow up, we grow old

I came earlier back to my hometown today, just feel like not working in the lab today. However as usual, I have got enough data to present to my mentor for this week. Research isn't always giving you expected results, that's why we need to experiment it and empirically prove it supported with evidences. Negative results may not be a bad news sometimes as they will improve your understanding and troubleshooting skills, so most of the time I really think that it's more useful than always getting anticipated results, that way it fails to stimulate your mind to think.

I played badminton with my nephew today. He is now able to picking up shutter than from years before. Day by day he is growing up as a handsome and intelligent boy. One thing I don't like about him is that he is so prone to losing focus on almost everything including what he likes. This is a serious problem for him and this stops him from learning. I really wish he can improve this latter in his life, but this of cause requires his parent's attentions. There is limited things that we can do about. He is always a naughty boy, he likes to play fools with people around him. But a good thing is that he is under controls, I have seen kids that are overpowered than their parents and I think that that is totally unacceptable.

Looking at him, and looking back to myself, I feel that the age is catching up. I gotta treasure my health and body, perhaps the fittest at this age, it may or may not abrogate with time from now. Gotta live my life with maximal joys!

Ron

I love my Lap top

I like my current lap top, though with so much of internal damages which of cause, wasn't done by me I guess. Look at my slipper and wallet they will explain that and you will know I treasure things belonged to me more than myself. This piece of genius is actually belonged to my girl friend, thanks to her generosity, I own it since 2 years ago. It's a black HP compaq, age of 6 according to her previous owner, yet still functioning.

The most I like about it is that it's a real motivating friend. When I feel like not doing works, and just wanna watch movie series or even a single downloaded movie, she will stop me right away. When I feel like playing games, again, she stops me right there. So, every attempts were condemned thanks to my fellow companion. She just does not allow me to have a break, but keep working, working and working. By how? by getting angry of me and switching off itself. Electronically speaking, she gets too hot due to the excessive simultaneously running programs and a black-out occurs without warning. You may see it as a malfunction, but I see this as a gift and I really treasure this. It has helped me a lot in my study and my progress. Without you, I am nothing but a flying dust in a gently blowing breeze.

Thanks a lot to you, I love you and I really do, not to forget her previous owner. You make my life!

Ron

Post-doc - is it a feasible option?

An immense sorry to myself for not updating blog. I was busy like hell for the past few months, but it is all worthy I think. My research is going fine and I think 5 to 7 publications are assured for my PhD. A greater news is that completing my PhD in 2-year is not impossible based on current progress. Thanks a lot to my supervisor's pushing and pressurizing.

I may agree everything with my supervisor from a perspective of research, but for life-living, I seriously doubt his philosophy on that. I always think that marriage is one of a perfect thing in life, establishing a family is an art, not to say the learns and shares behind all these, it's just marvelous I think. Tolerance is a key on how two of the individuals work thing out, strive themselves for the sake of next generation, to assure better future. Indeed, it's nothing more fascinating than that, and I think I am prepared for that.

So, 1 and the half years down the road, I gonna be a so called 'Dr.', but nothing more than just the calling/ addressing of title. PhD is just a licence for you to do research, as always reminded by my supervisor. True enough, so my next plan is of importance. And people change, previously I was thinking to stay in this country for the career. But now, after some brain-feeding, I might be going to Singapore for my post-doctorate. For my long-term investment, I think it is really good for my career (If only I successfully secure a job there). Glad enough, my family is on my side that this decision. Though I realize that it gonna be challenging and tough, with all the supports, I think that it's doable.

No perfect match in the world

Indeed, I buy it when my mentor told me that 'there isn't such thing as perfect match in the world'. It is literally true as somehow you will find people around you in which his/her spouse ended up with, was not the type of partner which was his/her first choice. I totally agree with it as i think that this is what actually happening to me, maybe similar to my partner or perhaps you yourself.

It doesn't matter as long as the happiness or sweetness are felt by each other, with that, any gaps can be filled. However, that is not the usual cases, people may find out the weaknesses of each other, and then tried hard to make them as excuses for reasons to break up, especially during puppies love, but this matter also carries weight in a married family as well as a family with kids.

So, make sure you don't find a totally imperfect person to your particular standard. Sometimes, I really get angry with her when something goes wrong, frequently as a matter of fact, but to some extent, I hold my breath and ask myself, why would you have to be so angry? Scientifically, It's not giving you any harm, just herself, you are not losing a piece of your skin nor flesh. Let her rot, let her decomposited, she might not think that there is a need for you to scold her or any room to give any advices, in her point of view, I might be just a bloody emotionally ill-tempered moron, that's all I am.

I am not going to tell my initiatives to bark on somebody here though it's pretty obvious, who cares anyways, people may have thousands kinds of thoughts on you to make you emotionally annoyed and down, the crucial factor is yourself, as long as you are strong enough to withstand, nothing's gonna hit you down, nothing at all.

So be yourself, there is no point finding a doll as your partner who could not even find ways to understand your initiatives which is for her own good. In this case, blaming is not just a game, as simple as that, it's A SIN!

I have become bad-tempered lately to her only, it's strange, strange that I couldn't find the reason why. Perhaps I should learn from my faults, but I did try to so something good, but it did not work out eventually, whenever I try to treat somebody better, that somebody will turn and give me a bite, then I will just give it a slap, that's it, everything's blown away.......

A type of person like should have gone for an arranged marriage just like most of our indian friends do.....

Recent status?

1 Nov - 21 Feb, it's almost 4 months now, in fact this is my 2nd semester doing my post-grad here. When I looked into myself about what I had done in the past 'semester', I think that is ok, I feel no need to say sorry to myself.

In the past semester, I had got my scholarship, covering tuition fees and 2.3k per month for allowance, I think it wasn't a bad option, just that in return I have got to work in M'sia at least 5 years after getting my PhD. I think this is all right for a person like me that had started feeling a need to settle down.

I have no intention to do my post-doc or getting a job overseas, at least by far. However, I have a strong instinct that I should stay and try to build up my career at KL, but that would be happening after 2 years. It's always good to have a plan though, PLANS GIVE NO HARMS.

Nowadays, I think my supervisor has been putting much pressures on me, not really pressure actually, It's the expectation or demand that he has risen it up, he seems to be stressed up these days by his grant defense, hopefully he will be fine. And for some reasons, I think that the way he treats me is extremely different from how he does to others, not the bad side, but the up-side. I am not really certain if this is a good thing or not. Anyways, I will try my best to finish my research within these 2 years and go KL for my continuous life.

Sometimes, I just feel that my responsibility is there, but shameful to say that I don't really know how to execute it, maybe I am just too weak on this aspect. Just assume that I am still studying, taking no charge of the execution of responsibility. I can only make it real after 2 years. Give myself a period, maybe this is not a bad idea.......